Oyasumi Karma
by Senzaemon
Summary: Essentially, Goodnight Karma. Nagisa, broken by his mother, attempts to create a perfect child for her in which all his flaws are bared in the form of one Akabane Karma. Sugino tries to grapple with these facts and gets dragged into hell with Karma. Karma!Nagisa (In which Karma and Nagisa are the same person)


**oyasumi karma;**

* * *

The building was on fire and it wasn't Karma's fault.

Or more like, Class E as in End's classroom was burning to hell and it wasn't Karma's fault.

But the whole class still stared at Karma like it was his doing. Their gazes burned holes into his back (hahaha puns).

If Karma had to blame someone, Korosensei would probably be the scapegoat.

(Some men just want to watch the world burn.)

He sighed.

* * *

Korosensei had introduced the class to Chinese festivals during Geography, which promptly ended up with them celebrating the Qing Ming festival in the middle of August. Celebrating a festival that involved fire and burning incense in the summer heat. Brilliant. Absolutely genius. _Whatever could go wrong?_

"… The festival is a memorial for Jie, who had loyally followed Chong'er during his years of exile. Once Chong'er was enthroned as duke, however, Jie considered his services no longer required and resigned. Although Chong'er was generous in rewarding those who had helped him in his time of need, he had tried looking for Jie, who had moved into the forest with his mother. (Blahblahblah. Is this over yet.) Chong'er went to the forest but could not find them. He then ordered his men to set fire to the forest in order to force Jie out, but he ended up being burned to death" Korosensei drones on and on in an uncharacteristic monotone voice (and oh my god, are his tentacles melting).

Yada yada blah blah whatever. The summer heat buzzes in Karma's ears and his eyes twitch and itch to close for a while, hands wrapped around the slightly melted rubber knife. He'd like to slash off Korosensei's tentacles or at least mutilate his mouth to get him to shut up.

And frankly, no one was listening to this lesson anyway and he facepalms as Terasaka lets out a particularly loud snore (or fart, he can't tell) while he's sleeping at the back of the classroom, right next to Karma.

Even if Terasaka did fart, Karma wouldn't be able to smell it. The smell of incense is too strong and he crushes one that's been placed on the edge of his table. He crushes it and the powder smears everywhere, which promptly results with them being blown into his nostrils.

Tears of pain springs into his eyes and Karma rubs at it, and screams in agony when it only results in getting powder into his eyes. Oh no, he wasn't crying. He was just _hahahahah really, really high_ , that's why his eyes are red and watery, okay?

He bangs his head on the table and walks out of the classroom. Hardly a glance is thrown in his direction.

(Everyone's probably high on incense and shit _too_ )

He's 1000% done with this (result of solid bowel movement [shit]).

(Author tries to avoid using repetition of words for maximized eloquence)

* * *

Contrary to popular belief, Director Asano could be categorized as a "fucktard," but of course, only under Karma's categorization, since in his opinion, he could also pin the blame on Director Asano for the fire of Class E as in End's classroom.

After all, it was him who had arranged Class E to have Chemistry class every Monday afternoon.

And on this particularly hot day, of course whatever Okuda was making just had to catch on fire.

And then there's Karma.

Lord, save our soul.

"I'm so sorry!" Okuda screeches as whatever that was bubbling in her cauldr- apologies, I mean, boiling tube, smashes and the slightly, _just_ slightly, suspicious neon green substance spills into the bunsen burner, which promptly causes the small flame to burst right up to the ceiling, in the form of some low class demon, namely _Belphegor. (and no, it was not it the shape of a phallus. Get your minds out of the gutter)_

"Well, well, Okuda-san, no worries about it, but please be more careful," Korosensei smiles pleasantly as he uses his tentacles to put out the fire. "In this situation, keeping calm is the right thing to do," he continues, tentacles flailing wildly.

"Keep calm," my ass.

Korosensei continues babbling about safety as he knocks over Isogai's experiment, which too, conveniently, contained a very flammable substance.

Karma watches all this from the back of the classroom.

"Good job," he giggles, in a tone so dry that a tumbleweed suddenly rolls into the classroom from the mountain outside and the wind whistles while the crickets chirp.

Well, ever heard of the phrase "Add fuel to the fire"?

Yes? No?

Well, now you have.

Because this is Karma, and Karma is a bit of a psychopath, he decides to do some of his own experiments in a certain Chemistry class that involved "adding some fuel into the fire."

There goes the petroleum.

And the diesel.

And every single alkane and alkene he finds in the classroom.

Boom.

Whoops.

#noragrets.

Not even a letter.

* * *

The class starts screaming.

Okuda starts sobbing.

Isogai starts panicking.

Terasaka starts waking.

Tumbleweeds stop rolling.

Karma can't stop laughing.

What a perfect time to do an improvised staged play of the Qingming festival.

"Everyone, please keep calm and make your way to the stream. We've practiced the fire escape drill multiple times already," Korosensei screams through the frenzy, he himself the pure epitome of what not to do during a school fire, running into the blackboard and the whiteboard and whatnot.

It takes the class approximately thirty seconds to get to the stream and another half an hour for Korosensei to get over the fact that all his gelato had melted. Surprise. Apparently, with Korosensei's (very undeniable) logic, gelato was only melt-able at temperatures over fifty degrees and not when you leave it in a classroom at thirty-eight degrees.

Oh, what about Class-E-as-in-End's classroom being burned down? No one gives a damn. It's just a shitty old shack.

Suck it up and deal with it.

They can just get relocated in a hole or something.

"Everyone, please remain quiet while we take the roll call," Karasuma calls out, "And no, we won't get relocated in a hole, Karma."

Woops, did he just say that out loud?

"Kayano"

"Here."

"Itona"

"Here."

"Nagisa"

Karma looks around. Speaking of which, he hadn't seen Nagisa for a while.

"Here," Sugino answers instead.

Wait, what? Where the fuck was he? Since the fire was caused, shouldn't he be able to see Nagisa too? (Well, but this was all according to Chinese logic that was from a few hundred years old, but then again Asian logic is always right.)

Karma feels Karasuma-sensei stare at him for a moment before he continues with the roll call.

"Terasaka"

"Here"

(Yada yada blah blah)

* * *

To be honest, Karma and Nagisa were very similar in terms of physical appearance despite having polar opposite personalities.

Karma has short, red hair, Karma has long blue hair. Karma has eyes the colour of fire. Nagisa has eyes the colour of blue. Karma's voice is like a high pitched boy's. Nagisa has the voice of a high pitched girl. Karma wore boots to school. 15cm boots (6 inch boots). Karma's smile-

Oh wait no.

Dammit.

They actually looked nowhere near the same.

It's like comparing Karasuma-sensei's dignity with Kayano-chan's boobs.

Kayano-chan's boobs are non-existent.

* * *

On Tuesday (which was the day after Class-E-as-in-End's classroom had been burned down), Class E was conveniently relocated into a hole in the mountain since Director Asano had made some shitty excuse about the school being "low on budget," but, well, everyone knows this is just to fuel to the discrimination. (Basically adding fuel to the fire again. Huehuehuehuehue. Puns. Sorrynotsorry.)

"Good Morning, Karma," Sugino grins as he ducks under some ferns and slides into a tunnel that gives way to a large underground cave, careful to avoid the stalactites (stalagmites?) that poke from the ceiling.

"Ohayo, Sugino," Karma greets back, his voice smooth as always, with a distinct undertone of subconscious mockery. "Something you need?" he asks. Sugino was Nagisa's friend, not his. They weren't even close. Just classmates that got along.

"Ah no, nothing in particular," Sugino scratches the back of his head sheepishly, "It's just that I had some trouble completing the Math worksheet Korosensei gave us yesterday and I was wondering if you could help me with it?"

"Sure."

He reaches into his bag and literally wrenches out a tattered worksheet. It's honestly shredded into bits by now with whatever kinds of shit Karma has in his bag.

(Surprisingly, the list on items in Karma's bag does not include a paper shredder, but it does however, included a chainsaw, bottles of strongly concentrated hydrochloric acid and a lighter. Oh no, not suspicious at all.)

* * *

Fun fact of the day:

To get rid of dead bodies, there are 3 steps that you need to follow.

1\. Chop up the bodies into small pieces

2\. Drown then in very strong acid, namely hydrochloric acid

3\. Burn, burn baby burn~

* * *

Goddammit, Karma, that makes a record of handing in zero pieces of assignments for 214 days and counting.

The exasperation from Sugino was so strong, if Karma had just happened to walk into the classro- no, cave, he could have _smelt_ it, but Sugino doesn't say anything, probably deciding that his own assignment was more important than Karma's shredded one. As long as he got the answers, it'd be fine.

Selfish son of a bitch.

"Karma, can I still have a look at the pieces?"

Welp. Suspicions confirmed.

"Yeah, whatever. Just take it and treat me to a gelato later," Karma says, propping his arm on the table and resting his face in his palm, unnaturally _blue_ eyes boring into Sugino's soul. "Make sure it's strawberry."

"And from Italy," he adds, in an undertone.

Sugino snorts in reply and Karma barely pays attention to him sweeping up the remaining pieces of homework.

(Sugino's own completed homework pokes out from his schoolbag and he crumples up Karma's trash.)

The words, _Name_ - _Shiota Nagisa_ flutters into the bin, along with questions of trigonometry and what not.

(Dammit, Sugino. Don't you know that it's a _sin_ (e) to do that to your Math worksheets?)

* * *

When Korosensei decides to collect their homework, he would usually do so at Mach 20, whirling around the classroom ripping the papers from the students, but miraculously, leaving not a single crease on them.

The papers would then be given back out in approximately ten minutes time, all marked (and doodled on) with an undeniable red in the exact shade of Karma's hair.

But much to Karma's chagrin, he has never had this experience and probably never would.

(It's still all because of those fucking 214 days worth of homework.)

When Korosensei passes by his desk, the only thing Karma would notice at that ridiculous Mach 20 speed was that the palest hints of green lines would always, unfalteringly appeared on his face.

He doesn't say anything, but his homework is never question about, and when Karma gets home, he'll always find that it'll be missing, regardless if he shredded them into pieces with a blender _(but does it blend? yes it does!)_ and scattered it in his bag or hid it in a gravure magazine.

(But then again, it was probably Okajima who always "borrows" his magazines. Too bad Karma had never told him that the models were all male cross dressers and traps.)

(Pffft, it's not like he's a fudanshi or anything, okay)

* * *

Akabane Karma 赤羽 業 (カルマ) – Currently sitting in a hole along with twenty other students, the majority of whose names he can't remember. He is fifteen years old, aiming to become an evil bureaucrat. He often pays no mind to his possessions, and as a result, does not have an identification card.

Shiota Nagisa 潮田 渚- Status currently unknown. But he should be sitting in a hole with twenty other students, a few who recognized him a male at first sight. He is Karma's best friend, but neither have memories of how they met. Their interactions exist, but neither can recall either. It's similar to talking about mindless bullshit everyday and declaring these trivialities unimportant, and as a result, these conversations are easily forgotten.

* * *

 _Negativities of being Karma-_

There were times where Karma skived and would be dragged back to lesson at around Mach 20. There were other times when Karma didn't skive and ended up either doodling, sleeping or daydreaming in class. This was one of those days.

He sighs and stares out of the window of Class-E-as-in-End's classroom which had not so surprisingly been fixed up by Korosensei within a week.

(This is not a habit anymore.

It's a routine.)

Sometimes, Korosensei wouldn't care about him if he felt that Karma wouldn't struggle against the material and he'd just carry on with teaching, black eyes sometimes flickering to grey ones and boring into them.

And then by lunch time he'd be the first to disappear out of the classroom door.

 _Positivities of being Karma-_

He'd stroll back in a bit later after the lunch bell rings when he craves for some human attention in three different forms (not in any particular order)

-Like in his 15 cm (6 inch) heeled boots, red hair, grey eyes and matching jacket when he felt bored (which frankly, was often) or when he just felt up for a fight, wanting the adrenaline to pump in his veins and just forget about everything else, get lost in his more primitive and less dignifying instincts. (Such as hobbling out of an alley with a busted lip and hair all mussed up with shards of glass sticking out from them)

(During the first time this happened, Karma had practically died laughing when Sugino asked if he was alright)

-And then he might feel more _tame_ and wipe of the façade. In which the façade was still essentially a façade of another façade and where no one suspected that this façade of a façade was actually really not a façade at all.

And even the gods smile upon that and laugh along with him when Sugino jogs up to him and says, "Good Morning, Nagisa. Can you help me pitch some fastballs later? I need to practice my batting since I think I've been getting out of shape lately."

In which he'll smile and say, "Sure. I'm free after school. See you then."

And then the gods were definitely laughing at him, or, he'd bet his life upon, watching him stumble around in life when he meets Sugino in the baseball court and being Nagisa, unable to break his promise, start pitching amateurish fastballs that actually makes Sugino struggle to hit them.

(And if he'd got a say in any of this, he'd like to be the batter instead. Smashing something, like a bottle of beer, per se, against someone else's head and having a full blown fight break out.

And getting out of it maybe-not-really-maybe-quite scuffed up physically and not a drop of dirt on his conscience)

* * *

It's a surprise to everyone when Korosensei announces out of the blue that their class has received the fund to go on a school trip.

(Ain't that fucking trippy.

Huehuehue. Trips, _trippy_. Huehuehuehue)

The sun shines through the window passive aggressively while Korosensei orders them to set out within the next ten minutes.

"Sugino-kun, would you like to sit next to me on the bus?"

Sugino turns around and there's Nagisa, standing there.

"Sure, why not. I'll go grab the seat at the back since they're more spacious. Can you help me sign in with Korosensei?"

Nagisa watches Sugino head to the bus and slide his way through his classmates, features dulled by the glass windows. A frown crosses his face.

(In the end, he completely forgets to sign in with Korosensei.)

* * *

To say that Sugino had the cutest sleeping face would have been an understatement. Girly would have probably been more fitting. (Although this was amazingly ironic coming from Nagisa)

His chest rises and falls steadily, the sunlight dyeing his hair a light brown, dappling his face. His eyelids twitch when the bus ride gets bumpy and his breath catches for barely a second when his hand brushes against the cold metal of the emergency door.

But he doesn't notice how Nagisa stares at him, or plays with his fingers once in a while, brushing across them ever so gently or interlacing them with the other boy's.

(They have the whole back row to themselves and they're sitting next to each other.)

(No one questions it, because…no homo.)

"Ne, Sugino-kun," Nagisa whispers. It lingers in the air, lost in the dry humming of the car engine, "What if I told you I like you?"

Sugino mewls in his sleep and Nagisa can't help but giggle. It really is too adorable, watching the ever energetic Sugino look so defenseless, with all his walls down. His fingers trace Sugino's lips (they really were too soft) and then touches his own and soft smile paints his face.

Really, Karma would never let Nagisa hear the end of it if he just saw that.

"Would you date me?" Nagisa inquires again, but his voice much deeper, less feminine, _more Karma-ish_ , and somehow managing to blend into the tranquil atmosphere oh-so-effortlessly.

The eyelids of Sugino flutters, "Yeah, yeah," he mumbles

Nagisa (?) grins in replies.

It was a shame that Nagisa does not notice one black eye open, narrow, and close again.

* * *

The first person- or rather- entity - that noticed was Korosensei. The second person to notice was Sugino Tomohito (or, so he thought) during the time he often spent in school with Karma and Nagisa.

"Korosensei, what's the meaning of Karma?" Sugino decides to ask one night when Karma's already asleep. The hotel lobby is quiet and there's something uncomfortable nagging at the back of his mind. He nurses his cup of tea in between his hands and the rubber gun is a comforting weight on the back of his thigh.

(Safety precautions one: Never put a gun on where you're sitting because it doesn't have a safety trigger and just might, _might,_ blow a hole in your leg. We have assholes for a reason. An additional hole in one's body serves no particularly useful purpose.)

"What do you mean, Sugino-kun? Although I may be by far the most intelligent creature that has walked the earth, I can hardly answer a question as vague as the one you proposed."

Sugino sighs and his lips quirk up in a bitter smile. "Karma-kun. Who is he?"

"Karma-kun, " Korosensei pauses, as though picking out his words carefully, "is Nagisa Shiota."

"Nagisa-kun…?"

"Yes, Sugino-kun. Quite simply put, Karma-kun is the result of a split personality, which is usually caused by trauma. I suspect that the cause is Nagisa-kun's mother's actions towards him, but I cannot say this for sure. I'm assuming that Karma is a defense mechanism to be the perfect child with good grades. When did you find out?"

"Korosensei, that doesn't matter right now. Well, around the end of first term or something," Sugino shakes his head, "But going back to what you said, shouldn't Nagisa be a girl if we're talking about the perfect for his mother?"

"That's the interesting part. We both know that Nagisa had never enjoyed as being viewed as a girl and his appearance is the biggest factor in that. He wishes to be normal, to get away from the pressure of his mother. What better solution is there than Karma-kun? So, getting back to the first question, when did you find out?"

There's a pregnant silence and Sugino fidgets, "It was obvious when Karma and Nagisa never seemed to be together, but somehow they've always mentioned each others as friends. It's….almost been a week and a half since I, no, we last saw Nagisa."

"I see. Those are observational skills useful for assassination, but let us get back on topic. To sum it all up, the root of the whole problem is Nagisa's mother. The whole class already knows this, but just not the details. Please refrain from telling them so that we don't cause any panic, Sugino-kun," Korosensei states, his smile unwavering as always.

"Nagisa?" Not Kar-"

"Ah, but you see, Sugino-kun," Korosensei smiles. "It's definitely Nagisa and not Karma who's the real person, if you'd like to call it that. I've gone through some of the school and government records and there no one named Akabane Karma in Japan."

There's no reply from Sugino for a moment and it passes as quickly as it goes. His head dips and he stares at his now-cold tea from under his fringe.

"Thank you for explaining, Korosensei."

The silence drags on when Sugino leaves and neither makes a sound.

Korosensei remains silent and smiling, his eyes trailing Sugino's retreating form.

(When a cleaner comes by, she will find two cups of tea, completely untouched.)

* * *

A shaft of sunlight pierces though Class-E-as-in-End's classroom, washing the blackboard white and ripples off the desk in waves. It drips down his hair and pools around his feet.

He's sitting alone in the classroom and the brief, muffled intervals of Class-E-as-in-End's screeching can be heard in the furthest clearing where they practice their battles moves. It sounds far away, like from a tunnel or something.

A knife (rubber? metal?) stares back at him from the desk. His right hand is raised in the air and somehow he can't put it down.

The cherry blossoms bloom outside, red as blood.

Somehow, the ringing silence won't end.

* * *

"Does anyone want anything? I'm heading to the convenience store," Karma asks when he approaches the yukata-clad boys in the hotel room.

"BEER!" Okajima hollers across the room. "We need to enjoy our youth with girls and beer!" One had to be blind to not notice the growing erection.

"Request denied. Rape would be troublesome," Karasuma-sensei puts in, gaze not even leaving his paperwork.

"Thanks, man, I'll have a bottle of coke," Maehara throws him a thumbs up.

"What kind of coke, Maehara? You'll have to be more specific." As always, Okajima is ignored.

"Sugino?"

"…No thanks," said boy mutters, eyes blank, looking at _anywhere_ but Karma (his gaze disturbingly fell upon Okajima's dick).

"Okajima, you sure you don't want anything?" Karma prompts, much to the horror of everyone else. "It'll be a waste of your youth if you don't at least enjoy some… _drinks_."

"…You're gonna spike them, aren't you..."

"Oh, whoever would think of such a thing?"

"Karma-kun, just go already, will you," Sugino snaps.

Karma raises an eyebrow, "Ah, right, chill pills for Sugino too," he snickers. "I'll be back soon."

"Oi, Karma, wait! On second thought, buy me a condom, a pregnancy test, a coat hanger and a mop in case anything goes wrong? I'll enjoy my youth to the fullest for sure this way!"

"Fuck off, Taiga."

"Gladly," Okajima replies, winking.

* * *

Second fun fact of the day (For people who cannot afford an abortion):

1\. Pregnancy test to…test for _things_.

(If positive-

2\. Unravel coat hanger to get rid of…devil spawn spawning in female human body

3\. Mop to clean up the mess

4\. (Please do not actually do this)

* * *

Karma is on the roof, legs kicking as the winds sways precautiously. His hair is tainted a dull vermillion in the night sky and he watches his classmates scurry beneath him mock battling each other (You know, night training. Although no one is sure what exactly is the point of learning how to kill Korosensei in the dark. He's pretty much invincible compared to them anyway.) And _holy shit, was that Bitch-sensei getting rejected by Karasuma-sensei again?_

Karma watches his classmates run around like ants waiting to be crushed and he can't help but chuckle when he imagines the fields being stained in a very pretty dull bright red.

For god knows how long, Karma stays still and the early wind begins to whip at his hair and nip his face. In between the strands of vermillion hair, the wind picks up a streak of blue.

"What's the matter with you, Karma-kun? Go to sleep already," a voice bleary with sleep cuts though the silence. "It's three in the morning. Training ended two hours ago."

"'Morning, Sugino-kun," Karma purrs and his greeting is ignored by Sugino (again).

"Just wake up on time tomorrow."

* * *

 _"_ _What's the matter?"_

It takes Karma approximately 3 hours and 16 minutes to realize that something might have gone wrong.

 _"_ _What are you doing?"_

* * *

It's cold.

That's the only thing that registers in Sugino's mind when he watches Karma (Nagisa?), silhouetted against the dawn sky that bathes the floor tiles in blue, orange and the slightest hint of vermillion. Having been requested by Karasuma-sensei to find Karma (Nagisa?), it's not something he can refuse.

(Had he been up on the roof the entire night?)

"Nagisa?"

"Sugino-kun."

Grey eyes widen as they stare at whoever the fuck was in front of him. He watches as the boy glances at him and grins. It's strange, he frowns, the way Nagisa-kun had said his name as though he remembered who he was.

"Come here, Sugino-kun," Nagisa whispers, arms wide open.

All it takes are those three words from Nagisa (which, surprisingly, are not 'I have food') is all it takes for all the barriers and walls Sugino has formed around himself to crumble. Despite his protests, his legs carry him to the blue haired boy.

"Sit."

Nagisa doesn't need to say anything else. One imperative is enough to get things going. So, Sugino sits, head resting on Nagisa's shoulder and fingers brushing his wrist. The faint thumping of the pulse is all it takes to convince him that this is Nagisa and not anything _else_.

"It's been a while, hasn't it?" Nagisa says, tightening his grip on Sugino's fingers. There's a tint of melancholy in his voice. "How's the assassination going?"

"Not so much as we've hoped to progress," Sugino manages to choke out _(not a single damn mention of the school trip)_ , "There's a new student in our class. He's called Akabane Karma."

" _Ka-ru-ma_ -kun, eh?" Nagisa spells out, rolling the name around his tongue. "The name really rings a bell and I think I've met him before. What kind of person is he, Sugino-kun?"

Sugino gives a half-assed shrug. "Troublemaker. Red hair and grey eyes. Something like a sadistic pyromaniac, I guess."

Nagisa giggles and it's like the soft tinkering of bells. "I'd like to meet him."

"You might later downstairs," Sugino forces a smile in return.

"Actually, I'll see if I can meet him now. I'll be going now, Sugino-kun," the blue-haired boy replies and stands up.

There's a soft padding of feet, or rather, the tapping of 15cm (6 inch) heel boots that fades and Sugino's left alone on the roof. Never has it once crossed it mind that it would be so painful to hear Nagisa say his name.

* * *

"Karma-kun, did you sleep well last night?" Korosensei asks when he brushes past him as Class-E-as-in-End's Class students pile onto the mottled bus that had once been white (probably during the Edo period or something. Pfft, normal Class-E treatment).

"Hmmm? Yeah. But I woke up a bit early so I went for a walk. Can't remember the details though."

"I hope you stayed in the lodge, Karma. Students aren't allowed to leave."

"It's fine, Korosensei. I just went to the roof. It was raining this morning, no?"

The sun shines mockingly outside.

"I never noticed that, Karma-kun."

"I was with Sugino last night. He said it was raining when I felt something wet on my hand. Could have been bird piss, though."

"…Is that so"

(But the thing is, Karma didn't even have a conversation longer than ten words with Sugino last night)

* * *

The class simultaneously groans when Korosensei suddenly announces that instead of having a pop quiz, they would be doing a class project in Biology today, since it's been a month since the school trip and the class was "slacking off." Well, everyone except for Terasaka (duh), who never revises.

"Korosensei, are you saying that the time I spent revising last night was all for nothing?"

"It's not fair, Korosensei. Doing a project takes so much more time."

"Korosensei, I didn't prepare much for the class project!"

"Hahahaha, all I know about Biology is sex. Hahahahaha."

(Insert awkward silence that is really isn't actually awkward at all because everyone is already used to Okajima)

"So, continuing on," Korosensei speaks. "Kayano-chan will be working with Okuda-chan, Isogai-kun with Maehara-kun, Karma-kun and Sugino-kun and Okajima-kun with Terasaka-kun. I hope everyone's happy with their partners."

(Okajima and Terasaka? Really? You'll be lucky to have them get jackshit done, Korosensei)

Karma flashes Sugino one of his infamous grins. "Come over to my house. We can finish it by today."

(It unnerved Sugino that even Korosensei, had started calling Nagisa 'Karma')

* * *

When Sugino gets to Karma's house, he's not surprised when Nagisa's mom opens the door.

"Who are you?" Is the first question that's unwelcomingly thrown in his face. Her eyes are black like an abyss and that's about all Sugino remembers about her.

"I-I'm Sugino Tomohito. Kar- Nagisa-kun invited me over to work on our school project today."

There's a beat of silence and her frowns deepens for a moment.

"I see. In that case, come in. Nagisa isn't home yet, but you can wait in his room."

"Th-thank you."

Sugino slips past the woman and tiptoes past the kitchen and turns another corner before going into what he assumes is Karma's room.

The room is unnaturally plain, with too-white walls and a small oak brown drawer next to an oak brown desk. There's a futon that's obviously been lying there messy since the morning and piles of books and exercise sheets are stacked neatly on some equally oak brown shelves. It's a relatively clean room save for the little piles of crap (left over homework? Some candy wrappers?) that litter the corners.

There's a somewhat peaceful silence in the room and the leaves outside brush by the windows and cast an evening light in the room from where the setting sun filters through. The room is cast into streaks of blue and vermillion.

Vermillion. Crimson. Ruby. Scarlet. Red. Karma.

Something wet runs down Sugino's face and he laughs.

"Stupid, isn't it, Nagisa?"

"What is, Sugino-kun? Is something the matter?"

"Eh?" When Sugino turns around, all that he's not expecting to see is staring right back at him. Nagisa, with his blue pigtails and waistcoat outlining his unnaturally feminine physique.

 _It_ 's _been a while_.

(That's what he always says.)

"Sugino-kun, are you crying?"

Sugino pauses and turns away. "No, I'm just washing my eyes so I can see the truth."

"I see…Let's carry on with the project then," Nagisa presents Sugino a smile and it catches him off balance. Sugino can't help but force one of his, too, and yet, the tears still continue to streak down his face.

The poster they're making is full of messy scrawling and scratches and eraser dust scatter across the paper. Half of it was done by Karma. The other half is done by Nagisa.

"So..what do you think, Sugino-kun?" Nagisa pauses in the middle of a drawing.

"Eh?"

"Sex," Nagisa rolls his eyes. "Apart from completing the poster on human reproductive anatomy, we're meant to give an answer to this extra question Korosensei gave us." He prods at a particularly hideously octopus drawing that read 'Name one _mature_ magazine that you would recommend.' He probably means porn mags."

And then there's Sugino, who was obviously not paying any attention in the slightest, "Uhhh, Shounen Jump?"

Nagisa giggles and studies Sugino's face, "Ne, Sugino-kun. We can stop here if you want. You can have dinner and stay the night and we'll continue this tomorrow."

"Stay…? But won't your mother mind?"

"No, she won't mind, no. She's working her night shift tonight," Nagisa says softly, looking at anywhere but Sugino's eyes.

"Are you sure it'll be fine?" Sugino frowns.

Nagisa turns around, trademark soft smile plastered onto his face, "'Course it'll be fine."

(Or rather not)

* * *

When Nagisa confesses to Sugino later in the night, he does it when (he thinks) the other boy is sleeping. He might have said it earlier when his mind had been clouded with lust, but of course he doesn't remember.

"You know, Sugino-kun," he starts, looking at the raven haired boy who's sleeping next to him. "It's regrettable that we only knew each other for such a short time."

He rolls onto his side, brushing a few black strands of hair back from Sugino's face. "It really is, but thank you for being with me all this time."

A warm hand presses onto his chest and fingers trail over his body.

"Nagisa. It doesn't matter how much time we've spent together," a sleepy voice mumbles.

Sugino instinctively shifts closer to Nagisa and lifts his chin, black staring into limpid blue. "Because I'll never forget you. Even if you decide to leave, I'll always, always be by your side."

( _Even if you decide to leave me for Karma_ , but of course, those words go unsaid.)

"Even if we don't have a chance of being together?" Nagisa breathes out, avoiding the dark gaze.

A tinkle of laughter is what Nagisa gets in reply and in return, Sugino receives a look of confusion and maybe something akin to curiosity.

"Then I'll wait for you, regardless of how long," he smiles, and his arm snakes under the sheets, curling around Nagisa's lithe and unnaturally feminine waist.

Nagisa kisses him on the lips, soft and delicate and Sugino can feel something clenching in his chest, a somewhat bittersweet feeling that overflows from the bottom of his heart.

He realizes, as he watches the room slowly bathe in a pale yellow in the morning light and the scene just looks so _unreal_ , that as long he has Nagisa, he can pretend that everything's fine, even if only for such a short moment.

Nagisa curls up next to him, pressing his head into the crook of Sugino's neck and Sugino can feel his eyelids fluttering shut. He places his hands intertwine their fingers, his other wrapped around Nagisa, fingers pressing into his hipbones.

Sleep washes over him like an ebbing tide and it doesn't take long for Sugino to fall asleep, vaguely aware of the tickling breath on his neck and the slight fidgeting of Nagisa.

He tries to burn this memory into his brain and wills for time to stop for just a second more.

The monotonous ticking of the clock doesn't stop.

* * *

When Karma wakes up, the sight of the alarm clock greets him rudely, 2:43pm flashing in his eyes.

Deciding to go back to sleep, he rolls over and…promptly rolls off the futon and right into the leg of his bedside table

And what the fuck is this crusted, slightly sticky, substance on his sheets?

Karma picks at it and it flakes off his fingers and he settles with deciding that he doesn't want to know, so he heads to the toilet, takes a shower, brushes his teeth during said shower and changes into his school uniform.

In front of him, the dull brown backing of the mirror stares back at him and he flips it. A blue haired boy stares back at him, eyes narrowed in annoyance.

"Tch, troublesome," he spits out.

It takes Karma approximately five minutes to put on his red wig, grey contacts and some eyeline- , I mean, _guyliner_. Much better.

Walking in his 15cm (6 inch) platform boots take a while more to get used to and it takes him around half an hour to attempt to walk properly. Oh, the woes of being Karma.

He heads out of his apartment and doesn't bother locking the front door. His mother or maybe someone else might go home later. Karma frowns. Just exactly who was supposed to come home?

He proceeds to lock the door.

"Karma."

Things Karma does not expect to see first thing in the morning right before going to school:

1\. Sugino standing right outside his apartment

2\. Sugino with a trail of dark hickies littering his neck

3\. Him getting aroused by the sight of that

(No way, Karma's definitely a seme. Nagisa, on the other hand….)

Cue nosebleed.

* * *

Just like the multiple tumbleweed that scatter around their hole of a classroom, a week rolls by almost as easily. And much to Sugino's chagrin, he hasn't seen the slightest hint of Nagisa at all.

He had his hopes high, really. Nagisa wasn't the type to skive exams, but Sugino still never saw him. It was always Karma, sitting at the back, chewing on the end of his pencil and scribbling something probably unintelligible onto the answer papers.

Midterms come and go and no one in Class-E-as-in End's Class bats an eye when the name, _Nagisa Shiota,_ flashes up as first place on the school grade rankings. Class A, on the other hand…welp.

Let's just pretend that no one can see Asano completely going batshit crazy.

"Let's go eat lunch, Sugino," Karma says, glancing uninterested at the school rankings.

"Yeah, give me a moment. I'm still looking for my rank," The shorter boy mutters.

"It's there, isn't it," Karma replies, lobbing a baseball at rank number 12, hitting the name spot on.

"What about yours?"

"No idea. Can't find it. I don't even think I took the exams."

Sugino sighs. How typical of Karma.

"Never mind. Let's go to lunch."

Sugino soon learns that "go to lunch" means skiving and taking a train to this restaurant Karma's always wanted to go to.

The train is unsurprisingly empty and Sugino has no idea where they are heading and how many times they have switched trains, jumping across platform to platform.

"We're getting off next stop, Sugino," Karma says, snapping him out of his thoughts. He's leaning against the railing, looking like not giving a damn about anything as always, pocket knife between his fingers.

"Again?" the black haired boy asks in return. "We've been on the trains for the past hour now."

"It'll just be five more stops," Karma laughs in return, bowing and mockingly extending his hand towards Sugino when they get off the train.

Sugino grabs his hand out of instinct and his fingers slid over Karma's. There's a twitch of surprise and Karma pulls away.

They end up waiting for the train in silence at the empty station.

* * *

By the time the next train has arrived, it's almost close to two. Sugino wonders why Korosensei isn't looking for them at Mach 20 and realizes that that damn octopus probably know what's happening by now and just doesn't want to provoke Karma...or Nagisa or whatever.

This time, instead of standing, Karma opts to sit next to Sugino and Sugino can't help but look anywhere but him. On the opposite, outside the window, the sea stretches out into the horizon, and the sunlight bounces of the waves, almost blinding him in the process, so he stares down at the floor instead.

Dust motes float lazily around and he silently wonders if maybe, just maybe, he might be this insignificant in Karma's eyes.

Karma is still oblivious as always, that shit eating grin plastered on his face 24/7.

The train lurches forward when no one gets on this other stop. Again.

"This isn't very economically beneficial, yeah?" Karma comments offhandedly, gesturing to the completely empty train, his hair dyed bronze by the sun.

Sugino vaguely hears what he's trying to say and makes a sound of agreement from the back of his throat not taking his eyes off the floor.

* * *

A shaft of sunlight pierces though Class-E-as-in-End's classroom. It doesn't make a sound. The sunlight washes the blackboard clean and ripples off the desk in waves. It drips off his hair and pools around his feet.

He's sitting alone in the classroom and the brief screeching of Class E can be heard in the furthest clearing where they practice their battles moves. It sounds far away, like from a tunnel or something.

A knife (rubber? metal?) stares back at him, digging into his neck. His grip is glued onto the knife and he can't take his hand away.

The cherry blossoms bloom outside, red as blood.

Somehow, the ringing silence won't end.

* * *

Sugino soon learns that "go to lunch" means skiving and taking a train to this restaurant Karma's always wanted to go to.

It also means being fucking emotionally trippy.

He doesn't question where he is or how he'll get back to Kunigigaoka, but he'll worry about that later.

"The Nile" (or rather, denial) is not always a river in Eygpt.

The wind blows and sways the umbrella that's set up in the middle of their table in an outdoor café.

Sugino picks at his sundae and Karma raises an eyebrow at the mess on the table, amusement glinting in his eyes. The ice cream melts down the side of the glass cup and dribbles onto the ground.

A pigeon waddles by and gets stuck in it.

And Karma, too intrigued by Sugino, continues to watch him like a preteen pedophile, his own meal too, forgotten on the table. His gaze trails over his dark hair, even darker eyes and his long fingers. He must be pretty good in bed with those fingers, Karma notes, shivering at the thought (or memory).

"There's something on your face, Sugino" He reaches forward instinctively to wipe off the smudge of cream from Sugino's cheek, and knocks the salt shaker off the table when his brain manages to catch up with the situation.

There's a pause as both boys pause to look at the spillage.

Somewhere below them, a slug screams in agony.

Sugino wipes his cheeks, dusted red in embarrassment, muttering a hurried "thank you" under his breath, earning a delightedly creepy smirk from Karma. Dammit, Sugino was just too cute. He'd star nicely in a shotacon doujinshi or something.

"Be my boyfriend," Karma blurts out in the moment and his brain doesn't even bother at this point anymore.

Sugino splutters and tries not to spit out all his food, eyes wide as saucers. "Can you repeat that, Karma?"

"Be my boyfriend."

"Say that again?"

"Be my boyfriend."

The black haired boy sighs and rubs his chin, "I can't hear what you're trying to say, Karma. I can tell that you're trying to tell me something important, but all I'm hearing from you is 'be my boyfriend'".

Karma's grin widens and he props his chin on both hands, leaning his weight on the table and closer to Sugino. "That's exactly what I said."

Sugino drops his spoon and it clatters angrily on a poor slug.

"I'm taken," he says stiffly, eyes looking at anywhere but Karma.

A look of shock flits across Karma's face before it's replaced by that perfect mask of his and he doesn't say anything anymore, just poking at his plateful eggs sulkily, the sunny-side-ups looking not very sunny at all as the edges spill off his plate.

Half an hour later, the waiter picks up the bill and has a hell of a time trying to clean up the sticky mess of melted ice cream, egg yolks and a slug that had gotten completely #rekt under the table.

They each end up taking different routes home.

(And both of them get lost along the way)

* * *

"Goddamn," Sugino curses, earning a rather disapproving look from an old woman sitting across him on the train, the only other passenger.

He gnaws on his lips and wonders why.

 _"_ _I'm taken"_

Really? Taken by the exact same person who he had sex with and also maybe the one who asked him out. His hand clenches and unclenches as he, not for the first time, starts to resent the mere existence of Akabane Karma.

The hag on the other side suddenly lashes out at Sugino, making him jump.

"Who the fuck is this Nagisa? You've been mumbling about her for the past ten minutes, young man. How hard can it be to realize that you love her? For god's sake, you guys even had hot, steamy sex!"

Sugino sweat drops and proceeds to get off at the next station.

Luckily, the old bitch misses his slightly jerky movements and the slightly disturbed and traumatized look on his face.

* * *

By the time Karma arrives home, back in Kunigigaoka, it's already close to dinner time and his mother says nothing when he enters the kitchen. The curry smells delicious, so he proceeds to open a cup of curry flavoured instant noodles.

It wouldn't hurt that ice bitch, his mother, to make some real curry, or at least share some of her nutrition packed dinner with him.

He watches as she bites into the last piece of very appetizing and very juicy looking chicken. Bitch. At least try to care a bit about your son, Karma mentally curses, glaring at her and choking down the last bits of noodle. At least he had an interesting meal with Sugino earlier.

Hiromi Shiota shoots a glare at Karma that was almost as dark as her soul before disappearing around a corner. "Do the dishes, Nagisa."

Karma doesn't reply, eyes trailing over her as she left and once she disappeared, he throws open the windows and out goes the cup of noodles and Hiromi's porcelain plate and equally expensive cutlery with all the curry sauce still intact. Woops, butter fingers.

He chuckles and throws back his head and starts laughing when he hears the tinkering of the shattering plates and maybe the high pitched screaming of some passing schoolgirls and the horrified shrieks of the homeless man living downstairs.

His mother yells from one of the rooms and he sees Hiromi running to him, a look of horror and something else, maybe disgust, or the look one would plaster onto their face when they see a piece of gum sticking to the bottom of their shoe or something.

Karma just grins at her and raises both his middle fingers for the second time that day.

She glares at him and her black eyes bore into his grey ones, but she doesn't say anything. Karma's grin widens and he slips past her, heading to his room. "Go to hell," he breathes and Hiromi's eyes widen. "Or rather, go back home," Karma corrects and turns away.

The door shuts with an almost silent click and he flings his school bag into a wall, watching all the stationery labeled _Shiota Nagisa_ fall apart. It needed to be replaced, anyway.

He steers into the bathroom and emerges fifteen minutes later, settling down on his futon and there's a small, white mirror in front of him. A blue haired boy stares back at him and exhales a shaky breath.

"Shiota Nagisa."

The mirror is flung into the wall and Karma tries to calm his erratic heartbeats. He takes in a gulp of air and his ragged breathing slows a bit. Hardly, but still a bit.

(The mirror will probably end up collecting dust and shit in that corner of the room for the rest of eternity)

* * *

When Karma ambles into Class-E-as-in-End's classroom the next morning, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and attempting to stifle his yawn, the room falls silent and he throws a confused look at anyone willing to meet his eyes.

He jerks up when a pair of cold hands grab his wrist and drags him out of the classroom, away from all the stares.

"Did you notice anything on your way to school this morning?" Sugino half stammers half mumbles to him, and Karma winces when his hands clamp down even harder on his own.

"Should I have?" Karma frowns and Sugino doesn't say anything, staring down at his feet. His mouth opens and Karasuma-sensei takes this chance to walk past them and interrupt.

"Director Asano is expecting you in his office, Karma."

Karma, even more confused, turns questioningly to Sugino, only to see his back disappearing into the classroom.

It takes an hour of Karma walking and procrastinating to get down to the principal's office. The walls of the main block are unlike Class E's shack, all pristine and white and empty.

The red head jumps a bit, fingers outstretched and brushing the golden doorknob that looks oh-so holier-than-thou when Director Asano's voice rings out. "Come in."

So Karma obliges, slamming the door open and strolling in. In return, he receives a nasty look from the Director Asano, violet eyes narrowed into slits. Asano Gakushuu shoots him an even nastier look from the corner of the room.

"Akabane Karma. I am not sure if you are aware of this, but your mother has committed suicide this morning. Her body had been found in a local park and it's quite evident that she had hung herself," he says, just like Korosensei, both with a smiling poker face.

Karma would gladly pay to punch that fucking face in.

Director Asano continues, smile broadening as he takes in Karma's anger. "It is the duty of the school to inform that you, Akabane Karma, have three days to pay all your due school fees for both semesters or be expelled."

"After all, you're in Class E. This is a light punishment for you to atone for your sins," Asano Gakushuu snickers and Karma's gaze flickers over to him and trails over to a vase with the Asano family crest glazed on it.

"What sins? You mean the fact that I was born or the fact that I'm a scapegoat for your cowardice? I haven't forgotten about Board Chairman spilling out his past to us."

Gakushuu visibly stiffens and Karma smiles at him.

Director Asano doesn't say anything when Karma walks over to the vase.

"You're going to get expelled," Gakushuu warns, eyes dancing with mirth.

Karma walks over to the vase, tracing the intricate patterns adorned on it with his fingers, mapping out every line. And gives it a kick, foot stamping on the family crest. The glass pieces shatters all over Gakushuu and it startles the blonde into silence.

"Ah goddammit, I slipped. Guess I'm expelled."

Karma briefly notes with bitter satisfaction how the smile, or rather, the shit eating smile, dies from Director Asano's lips.

There's a tense silence and only the sound of the whirring of the air conditioner and the ticking of the clock. Gakushuu glares hatefully at him and if looks could kill, he'd probably have been in jail for first degree murder and mutilation of Karma's corpse.

Everything seems to move in slow motion when Director Asano opens a drawer and takes out a file, flaunting it in front of the other two occupants.

"Nagisa Shiota, Class E, Seat 14, expelled on the 5th of May," Director Asano announces, holding up a piece of paper with a picture of a blue haired boy.

Karma turns his back on the Board Chairman and doesn't say anything as blood runs down his fingers, his fingernails digging into his palms, eyes blazing in anger.

The sound of the paper shredder is the only thing he registers when he steps out of the office, completely ignoring the horrified faces of the other students. They looked even more scandalized when he raises both his middle fingers at a security camera.

Karma quickens his pace and step out of the main doors and slams his fist sideways on a statue of that fucking acorn mascot.

Sugino looks up at him, leaning against the back door, obviously having heard the whole ordeal from the office. Goddamn assassination skills.

"Karma, let's go…home."

He pauses in his steps.

* * *

Sugino's concept of "home" was about as vague of Karma's idea of "let's go get lunch".

"Here," the black haired boy says, tossing Karma (or rather, the silhouette outlined against the windows who he assumes to be Karma) a can of juice. He's sitting, legs crossed on one of the tables and looking out of the windows.

Sugino takes a seat on the Karma's desk and sips on his own fruit juice, trying not to choke at the too-sweet taste.

"Sugino-kun."

Said boy looks up and tries not to spit out all his juice. "Nagisa?"

"Not quite. I'm Akabane Karma. I thought you of all people would know that, Sugino-kun."

"Eh?"

"I've gotten expelled. You heard everything, didn't you?" Karma asks, raising an eyebrow, not in curiosity, but in expectation.

"Well, yeah," Sugino replies, running his hand over his hair. "But I don't see why you had to get yourself expelled."

"I'm leaving Kunigigakao," Karma says, taking another sip of juice and scanning over Sugino's face for any sort of indication of protest. Of the predictability of all his classmate's, Sugino was an entirely different matter.

"Well, no shit sherlock, since you're expelled," the raven haired boy rolls his eyes.

"I mean that I'm leaving Kunigigaoka. I'm leaving Tokyo. Korosensei's already helped me sort out everything, or rather, all the legal matters," Karma pauses, not taking his eyes off Sugino.

The other boy doesn't reply, setting down his juice. Karma raises his brow again, at the weary smile Sugino gifts him, half expecting the raven-haired boy to lash out at him, ask him why, or simply bash his head in.

"I knew this was coming," Sugino offers as an explanation. "Because you're Akabane Karma."

Karma smiles and closes his eyes, leaning back against the windows. "I see," he utters under his breath and it doesn't escape Sugino's notice. "Then will you agree to date me now?"

Sugino doesn't say anything and out of all the time Karma's spent with Sugino, he doesn't accept it as a decline, or rather, he can't face himself to accept it as a decline.

"You know we're practically breaking over single promise we've made, right?" Karma reaches out, cupping Sugino's face in his palm, breathing in at the sight of the brightness of his eyes, the curve of his cheeks, every single detail of _him_.

"No, I'm the only one breaking my promises," Sugino replies and there's understanding in Karma's eyes.

He's finally accepted them, he thinks, and smiles.

"I want you to only remember me by the time you graduate, Sugino." Karma whispers on, eyes softening and pushes Sugino back until he's lying on the table. There's no resistance, he blinks and runs his knuckles over his cheeks.

"Even though I'm not the one leaving?" Sugino questions in return, twitching in amusement, eyes sparking with resign.

Karma growls at him and nips at his ears, answering him instead with a kiss to his forehead, nose and finally, his lips.

* * *

By the time Sugino fully comes to, all he sees is a flash of red slipping out of the classroom door from the corner of his eye and he's left behind staring up at the ceiling, counting the amount of wooden planks that line above him.

Of all things that he expects, what he doesn't expect is Karma strolling back into the room with only his boxers on.

He pulls on his pants and buttons his shirt "Anything you want to say before we…part ways?"

Sugino twists his head. "It's not too late, Karma. You can still stay." The words, a _fterall, you mother is gone now_ , is left unsaid, but Karma looks at him, daring him to continue.

A few seconds tick by and Karma sighs. "It's because Hiromi's dead that I'm leaving. Shiota Nagisa was bounded to Kunigigaoka by his mother," there's a pause and he adds in an afterthought. "You still love him, don't you, Sugino?"

Sugino stares at him and his gaze flickers back to the ceiling. "I suppose we've ended things already," he says and there's a tint of melancholy in his voice.

"Send me off?"

Sugino sits up and stares at Karma for real, the gears only really to start clicking in place. This was it wasn't it?

"Stop frowning. You'll end up looking like an old man," Karma comments, poking him in the forehead. Sugino glares and ignores him, opting to reply to his previous statement.

"Where? The train station?" He questions, and the words catch in his throat. He settles with turning around and begins to pull on his pants and slipping on his belt.

"Guess so," Karma whispers in his ears, arms circling around his waist, heading resting on Sugino's shoulder blades. "Promise you'll only remember me."

Sugino turns around and nips Karma on the lips, biting down and licking away the tangy taste of the blood. The red haired boy jerks back, glaring at him.

"Selfish bastard," Sugino laughs and kisses him again, kneading his lips between his and pulling back.

"I know," Karma grins and shoots Sugino a knowing smile. "Sometimes I wonder if I'm too much of an asshole and then I realize I'm gay and there's no such thing as too much asshole."

"Get out."

"After you, my lord," Karma says, holding the classroom door open and holds out his hand as an offer, to the beginning of a path that they walk everyday. This time, Sugino takes it and Karma doesn't pull back.

* * *

It's no surprise that the station was empty as ever, Sugino notes, picking his was around the bicycles and trashcans and whatnot, attempting in vain to catch up to Karma.

"Slow down, will you. My back is still hurting from your rough treatment," he bites out and Karma turns around, eyes sparkling in amusement.

"Then take a seat. The train will arrive any minute now."

Sugino obliges and sinks down onto one of the cold metal chairs, trying his best to avoid the gum and rubbish. "Sometimes," he blinks, "I wonder if things could have turned out differently."

Karma returns his gaze and wiggles his eyebrows, "Are you hinting that you want to come with me or are you just having a midlife crisis?"

It amazed Sugino to no end on how Karma could always seem so carefree, yet so destructive. He sighs. "We both know that I can't come along."

(The reason is left unsaid but it burns at the back of their minds.)

"So are you saying that this is midlife crisis," Karma pauses and takes out his switchblade, a habit that Sugino noted to surface whenever he was feeling uncomfortable, "Or is this what people would call _nodus tollens_?"

"Nodus what?" Sugino asks, turning to face the red head who's leaning against a column.

"The point where you realize the plot of your life no longer makes any sense," Karma explains, a bit perturbed at finally having realized something to put himself into.

Sugino smiles and his eyes narrow. Karma watches him and decides that he can't really place a finger on what that expression was supposed to be.

"I suppose that makes the two of us then," Sugino says, and this time, there's no more choking of words, no more attempts to strike any feeling into the other's hearts, nothing at all. Karma breathes out a sigh of relief.

"Just the two of us," he repeats after Sugino and the last syllables of his sentence are drowned out by the cacophony of horns and wheels bumping on tracks by the oncoming train.

* * *

Korosensei pretends to know nothing and on Monday, Sugino decides to head over to Karma's house.

He pretends that he know what he'll do.

And of course, the house is as messy and empty as he supposes it to be. Korosensei had already cut off the electricity and honestly, save for the nonexistent layers of dust that has yet to build, it looks abandoned.

There's a stack of papers in a corner of Karma's room and he realizes, those were not lesson notes, but more like autobiographies. He unfolds crumpled up papers and there's Karma's messy scrawl on algebra. There's the paper planes he unfurls and then there's Nagisa's petite handwriting, all on Korosensei's weakness.

And lastly, at the very back of Nagisa's notebook, there's a side of double pages with a million " _I'm sorry_ "s.

Sugino pushes it aside and picks up another book, this time what he assumes to be something on Social Sciences, he muses, running his fingers over the ripped cover. He ignores the contents and opts to pour over the doodles and the occasional note taking in the book.

When he finishes reading through every essay in the room, the sky was long since a backdrop of dark blue and black. The books were all stacked neatly to a side and the other things left untouched.

"You've been here for quite a while, Sugino-kun. Have you finally finished reading?" A pitched voice shatters the silence and jolts the black-haired boy out of his stupor.

"Korosensei?"

The yellow octopus cocks his head and looks questioningly at Sugino.

"Have you got a lighter?" Sugino asks, gesturing at the piles of paper.

Korosensei doesn't say anything, but his smile wavers a bit, and he's back in a flicker, octopus shaped lighter in his hands, outstretched to Sugino. "Try not to burn down the whole building."

"Thank you, Korosensei. I'll be heading home for now," Sugino replies, taking the lighter and disappearing down the corridor, silently swallowed by the black.

* * *

Of course, no one says anything when Sugino starts playing with the lighter during class. A few looks are shot his way when the incessant _click click click_ continues. Korosensei doesn't say anything either.

Sugino watches impassively as the flame dance up and dies down. The lighter fluid runs out rather soon in between all the lessons and training and there's barely a fraction of it left at the bottom.

He closes his eyes and opens them again when the classroom seems to fall much too silent and much too desolated for what would be considered normal.

Goddammit.

Did he fall asleep again.

Sugino turns his head, resting his cheek on the cool face of the wooden table. "Oi, Korosensei, what time is it now?"

The minutia of his life slowly drips by as he stares at the unmoving figure standing in front of the blackboard. He waits for a reply until the room darkens and little dots of light from the streetlamps start to illuminate the room.

"Do you think I, no, we, I mean, Karma and I, made the right choice?" Sugino questioningly mumbles. "It's like," he pauses, eyebrows creasing, "how people say that whatever choice you make, things will always turn out right, but that's all bullshit."

Korosensei shifts a little bit and Sugino takes it as a prompt to continue.

"I was happy for Karma when he left, because it means that he's finally being free, but I'm not sure what to say about Nagisa. Then on the other hand, I wish he stayed behind, but then that would be me being selfish and I don't think I can forgive myself for it."

He takes a breath and sweeps on, "And I still don't know which choice would have been better because _it hurts_ ," Sugino says, pointing to his chest and then flicking the lighter. "It hurts like hell. Like being burned from inside out."

From the corner of his eyes, a flash of yellow invades his vision and the lighter in his hand is full again, a few drops of lighter fluid sliding from his fingers.

It takes more effort than Sugino assume it does, to push himself upright from the desk. He blinks then rubs at his eyes when the classroom is truly vacant now and picks up his school bag, before making his way out of the door.

Sugino slides the door shut and inhales. His footsteps light, almost weightless. (Or rather, still not yet completely free from what he's running from.)

* * *

It was quite impressive, really, to be able to get down the hill that Class-E-as-in-End's classroom was located on and sprint all the way to the residential area in under half an hour.

Sugino pauses when he reaches the front door of Karma's apartment and the door opens, with a miniscule _click_ , when he twists at the knob and there's that same view again.

The notebooks and papers are still neatly stacked in piles and all the other appliances are scattered messily. The occasionally upturned picture frames glints off the moonlight and everything just looks so disturbingly picturesque.

He pushes at the lighter flint and a small flame of blue and orange dances in the gloom. There's a slight hesitation to his movements as he picks up a piece of paper and watching the fire flow onto it.

When the lighter goes out, Sugino lets go of the piece of the paper, and the still burning flame settles atop the stacks of worksheets and all.

He makes his way to the double windows and flings them open, before padding out on the balcony and settling himself on the railing. He shifts a bit, gripping the cold metal in his fingers when the darkness engulfs him.

Inside, the paper burns and the fire is fuelled by the night wind. The ashes drift almost peacefully and snow over the apartment.

Sugino opens his mouth, and has to force himself to not gracelessly to hurl out all his words. It takes a while and when he finally manages, his vision blurs and he has to look away.

"Goodnight, Nagisa-

-now it just the two of us."

* * *

終

* * *

a/n

fuck. it's done. oh my god. 6 months of word vomit. i never want to read this shit again.

6 months of none stop correcting and brainstorming - _and fucking hell the mediocrity_ - _(and humor generally fails when i attempt it)_

-everything's a bit rushed (a bit of grammatical and probably spelling errors everywhere)

and fuuuuckkkk, this was meant to be nagisacest, but sugino got dragged in - _and sugino bb doesn't get enough development in the manga holy shit_.

reviews are my motivation. ( _so please spew out what you thought of this -_ )

constructive criticism is always good

~Ichiro


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